Why We Chose Adoption

Just recently, someone asked me why I've started this blog in the first place. It’s definitely not because I’m aspiring to be the next Jane Austen (I wish!).  I started the blog for the following reasons:

1. To share our story of infertility and adoption
2. To educate our community about infertility and adoption and bring more awareness to these sometimes taboo topics
3.  Therapy! It’s therapeutic to write about what I've experienced in the last few years. Infertility and adoption come with a lot of unwanted emotions and sometimes it’s just best to lay them all out in writing. Also, it’s great to keep my mind occupied as we wait for the phone call that will change our lives forever!

Here is some background:

After talking about it for years, Roman and I started our adoption journey in August 2011.  After lots of paperwork, adoption classes, CPR classes, financial and medical assessments and our home study, we were finally approved in early February for a domestic newborn adoption. We've been eagerly waiting for a call from our adoption agency. While preparing for adoption, we were often asked why we were adopting.  So here are some reasons we decided to adopt:

Adopting a child is a calling

First and foremost, we didn’t chose to adopt, God chose us for adoption.

Ultimately, this process has been God leading us (and teaching us) and we are merely following.

I wonder what would happen if everything happened according to my life plan? I guess I’d be an attorney, living in a beautiful 4 bedroom suburban home, with three beautiful and perfectly disciplined children who all cleaned and read their Bibles- just for fun! Ya right! How often does that happen? Thank God he’s led us by his plan (although I’m still not opposed to the other plan eitherJ).  It’s amazing to take part of God’s plan and see how he uses our lives to glorify HIM!  As Christians, we should be honored to take part of God’s plan to care for widows and orphans! And although you might not be called to adopt, you can be a part of loving and supporting another child through supporting adoption. Adoption can be scary sometimes, but it is a beautiful journey. We’ve learned to trust God in ways that we could have never imagined.

The concept of adoption originates with God

God shows us the first and most meaningful example of adoption. When we humble ourselves and ask for God’s help and forgiveness, we are adopted as His children. We are God’s adopted children despite of our background and our blemishes, we are his and he loves us as a father loves his son.

There are many orphans in this world who need a home

While we can’t help them all, we can open up our family to the few that God leads us to, with the resources He provides. We have been abundantly blessed in so many ways and we have the means to adopt and provide a safe and loving home to a child in need.

An example of this is illustrated in the story of a man, walking along the beach, at low tide.  He observed that the beach was littered with starfish, stranded by the receding ocean, all doomed to die.  At one point he encountered a child picking some up and tossing them back in.  “You can’t possibly make a make any dent or difference, with so many,” he noted to the boy as he passed.  The boy held one before throwing into the sea and responded, “It matters to this one.”

So even if we can’t make a huge impact and help all the orphans in the world, we can adopt one (or more).

When we began to consider having children, we realized that it might not be easy for us. We decided, early on in our marriage, that we’d love to adopt some time in our lives. Once I was diagnosed with infertility, we both agreed we wouldn’t spend thousands on infertility treatments and we’d adopt. Whether a child had our DNA or not wasn’t a priority. In our assessment, you are a parent based on how you love them, not how they joined the family. Children are a gift from God, even if they are delivered in different packages.

We Wanted to start a family

We were devastated that we couldn’t have biological children and coping with infertility isn’t easy. We knew without a doubt that we wanted kids, lots of kids! We also knew that adoption would never fill our desire to have biological children, but it would give us a chance to start a family and love a child like our own. We decided that once again, God gave us the opportunity to start a family through adoption. We want a baby and a baby out there needs a home. What a perfect match! J

Adoption is worth the financial expense

Adoption is financially expensive, no doubt about it. We could have spent the money on a dozen different things, like a law degree or voyage around the world (which was tempting). The money could have been saved for the unknown future or been invested to earn more of it. Yet, all of that is temporal and fleeting. In God’s economy, a person is both eternal and of inestimable worth. In God’s economy, children are an asset and not a curse. In God’s economy, it is better to give than to receive. We chose to swallow the $25,000 cost of adoption and invest in our family and God’s eternal plan. We haven’t regretted yet. J

In conclusion, adoption is definitely a challenging and rewarding experience. We would encourage anyone interested in adoption, both international and domestic, to please do your research. It's not a perfect system and there is corruption in some countries or by some individuals. That said there are many reputable agencies and individuals out there who truly have the best interests of families at heart and do their best to keep their costs reasonable. Ultimately we trust that when the Lord leads us to adoption He will provide. Please feel free to comment or write if you have any questions or comments! Thanks for stopping in!