Shattered Dreams

"Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. They are ordained opportunities for the Spirit to awaken, then do satisfy our highest dream."

-Larry Crabb

The last few nights I've had a really hard time sleeping. I keep myself awake thinking about why God allows trials and tribulations to hurt his children in unimaginable ways. If I'm completely honest with myself, I  wonder why the many widows I know, the moms who have had miscarriages and still births, and the hopeful believers who pray to be healed from fatal illnesses have to endure such great pain in their lives, even though they have the almighty God on their side? I catch my mind slipping to my own self-pity at times. Why has God allowed our family to experience so many shattered dreams? How are teen girls getting pregnant on a whim during one-night stands, yet I'm prepared to parent and don't seem to have a chance at fertility? Why do I have a closet full of adorable precious baby onesies, lafayettes and dresses, yet no baby to cloth?

 This road of self pity and doubt is very dangerous, and I've found the best way to beat these thoughts is to pray and read scripture. I've proclaimed Jerermiah 29:11 many times, especially during my moments of self-pity and doubt. I constantly remind myself that God's plans for me are much greater than the plans I have for myself.  Granted, there is a part of me that feels entitled to be angry and teary, because I've been through a lot. Most people who are struggling and grieving are most likely entitled to feel that way. However,  As Lary Crabb stated, The Holy Spirit Is there to comfort us through our pain and uses broken dreams to find our desire to follow God. Isn't that the big picture anyway? 

The pain, grief and suffering you may be facing is not random. God wants you to draw near to Him and ask for His direction in your life. We may not have all of the answers to our many questions, but I believe God is in complete control and knows what is best.  God allows things to happen for reasons we can't comprehend. Keep walking through this life with your eyes set on Him and keep trusting in God alone, telling people about His amazing faithfulness, love and comfort. God can comfort you in your shattered dreams and give you a higher dream and purpose!