For those of you haven’t heard, we traveled back to the states last week. Unfortunately, On April 4th, one hour before our scheduled court hearing, we found out there were some complications and due to the political instability, they had to cancel our court hearing, and postpone it until April 22nd at the earliest. I honestly felt such a whirlwind of emotions at that time. I hated that we came so close to the kiddos being ours, and in one phone call, that all changed. I hated that I had to endure yet another trip to Ukraine and face all of my fears, insecurities, travel, costs and frustrations. Most of all, I hated leaving Andrey and Katya behind. On the other hand, as you could gather from my previous post, I was growing extremely home sick and the pressure of the adoption and Ukraine tensions were weighing on me - emotionally, physically and spiritually. In the last week, I have thoroughly enjoyed this beautiful country of ours, the magnificent weather and most of all, seeing our lovely family and friends!
After having some time to recuperate, I feel like I owe you all an apology for my attitude on my previous post. Most of all, I came to realize I owed God an apology. Sometimes I am like a child. When things don’t go my way, or the way I anticipated, I throw spiritual tantrums and let my emotions take over. I often struggle praising God and worshipping Him in all His Glory, just because things aren’t going my way. Luckily, our God is an amazing Father and He knows how to put me in my place. Over the past weeks, I was reminded how difficult it is to praise God through the storm. This weekend, at a women’s conference, I was reminded of a promise I had once made God. A few years ago, the night before my surgery, I prayed that God would use me to fulfill His will, even if it meant I wouldn’t receive the one thing I wanted most… a child. When I prayed this prayer, I had wanted my desire for God to be stronger than my desire to have children. I had to ask myself if this was still true. I felt so convicted.
This week, I made a new promise to God. I prayed and vowed that despite of what life throws at me, I will not grumble at God. May He give me strength and wisdom to fulfill this promise throughout my life.
In three short days, God willing, we will embark on the last phase of this adoption journey. We are scheduled for court on April 23rd. We are traveling to the center of the turmoil, Donetsk, Ukraine. We pray for God to guide us every step of the way and hope and pray we can get our children out of their safely. We have to spend a few days in Donetsk and then plan to travel to Kiev to complete visas and immigration requirements.
Dear friend, I ask you, I beg you, please pray for us as we take these final difficult steps of this journey. Thank you to all those who have been praying. When we are down, we know the prayers of others will carry us through. We are terrified. We are uncertain. We are hopeless. We are weak. But GOD is ALL KNOWING. GOD is FAITHFUL. GOD is STRONGER. I keep reminding myself that GOD is greater than are problem. GOD is greater than politics. GOD is greater than war. GOD is greater than death! He will see us through. GOD is GOOD!
Happy Easter!
You are a strong and courageous women. Your vulnerability and humbleness is encouraging. What you are going through is no easy thing, only God knows your pain and struggle. But God is your strength. I pray that you will receive that great news, that those two adorable children are yours. I pray God's grace upon you and your husband. Your story is an inspiration. Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord.
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